This is BCN: man toilets

Or more accurate, bad English translation.

This is why I have a job, guys.

Found this gem in Sants Estación. It made me laugh really hard.

So you want to teach English in Spain?

Here's my unsolicited advice:

-Actually learn Spanish. Learning another language yourself will give you some personal experience to go on. You'll have a better grasp of what your students need. Also, you'll understand why students make the mistakes they do and be able to give them better feedback.

-The only thing ESL certifications do are sit pretty on your resume. Get thyself to something useful, like a linguistics class. I'd recommend taking a hispanic linguistics course, a phonetics class, or an English language course (like the kind they make editing students take) in college.

-Learn how to spell words in English. Standing in front of a class trying to remember if the 'i' comes before the 'e' in 'receive' is one of those things that spellcheck doesn't fix.

-Share your culture ... via stories, family photos, etc. We've done a great job of exporting our pop culture to the rest of the world... but students are not usually familiar with everyday American life. My students are always riveted whenever I talk about our house (they are amazed that it has a yard!), my family, what my parents do, etc.

-Teach like we teach in the US. Students will flip when you let them do things like write on the board, perform skits, draw pictures, listen to music, etc. In Spain, most subjects are taught through lectures. Here, that whole 'multiple learning styles' thing is only for preschoolers.

I came to Spain to go to bookbinding school, not teach English. But I'm glad that I've made the time for it. Teaching English for a few hours a week has actually improved my Spanish and gets me to ponder language in a way that bookbinding school does not. Now I feel like I see my own language from a different perspective.

Teaching English in Spain

Is superfun and I really like it.

Here kids start taking English really early in grade school, but almost nobody speaks English well. So there is a market for private "language schools."

Right now, I teach an "early" morning class at a language school.

Class is supposed to start at 9am. Here's how that went down today:

8:50 am ... waiting for the bus, which arrives 10 minutes late.

9:10 am ... I arrive to teach but the school isn't open.

9:30 am ... My students get here.

9:40 am ... The students are freezing cold (it's about 60 degrees outside) and DYING of hunger so we argue about which of the four closest bars to go.

9:50 am ... We invade the closest bar. My students proceed to order nine cafe-con-leches, a beer, and a dozen doughnuts. They seem much happier and tell me how much they like English class.

10:00 am ... My boss calls to tell me he's sorry, he slept in because he really needed the sleep after partying all weekend, and that he'll be there right away to open the building. None of the students seems to think this is odd.

10:10 ... we talk about our weekends in English. My students enthusiastically tell me about how much time they spent sleeping and partying! Oh, and eating ... "I ate a really good paella ... how do you say paella in English?"

10:25 ... my boss shows up to let us into the school (about an hour and a half after the official start of class). He mentions that the key has actually been in the mailbox the whole time.

10:30 ... we listen to music. My students argue loudly about what the right answers are, and who the father of Adele's baby is. I attempt to get them to argue loudly in English.

10:45 ... I cram some past participles into the last 15 minutes of class.

10:55 ... The students are exhausted from ALL THAT ENGLISH so we end class five minutes early. I pack up my (largely unused) lesson plan and think "I can't believe they pay me for this!"

11:00 ... I go home via Plaza España and Plaza Cataluña. Best commute ever!!!